Always
by Kaliotrimma
Summary: AU It was routine. She would always be there, when he wanted her there and when they pissed each other off. NaruSasu, mentions of child and self abuse, now has sex! CHAPTER 3 UP! Now a collection of one or two shots.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, people! This is an AU fic! It's NaruSasu. They're in high school, somewhere. And it isn't shounen ai. Confused you yet? Good!

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine. Nope. But I do have a pointy stick in which to impale lawyers that cross me.

* * *

Why, goddammit? Why! Haven't I suffered enough already? Do I deserve even more?" Naruto yelled, beating his hands against the school walls, setting sun finally ceasing to burn his eyes, "Do I really deserve your bloody pity? Why can't you just leave?"

"…" The raven haired girl said nothing. Just like she always did. She would, he knew, let him vent his fury until he would drop to the ground and sob.

He did so. His hands stung, torn and bloodied.

_Then_ she would go to him. (As always) She, as Naruto's only real friend, (If you could even call it that) was beginning to accept or adapt to his violent mood swings.

They didn't happen often

He knew though, when they did, she was scared.

After the first time, when they met, he realized that the bag she now carried was full of not only school supplies, but medical supplies as well.

They were for both of them.

When Naruto lost control, he tried to be alone; that way he hurt no one.

She always found him.

Always.

She stayed. (As always). Silent. (As always.)

Naruto likes her silent refusal to leave him.

He also hated it.

How she could see right through his mask. How she would never tell him it would all be okay. How she never comforted him when he lost control. How the only thing she would do when he raged was stare at him. How when he hit her, which wasn't often, the only thing she would do was look at him and wipe the blood from her pale skin, onyx eyes boring into his very soul. How her eyes promised nothing but the simple fact that she wouldn't leave, no matter what he did. How she refused to be scared. How she never blocked his blows.

He hates these things. He hated them more whenever he realized that he loved them as well.

"Are you even gonna say anything?"

He knew she wouldn't; she never did.

She knelt beside him (As always) and brushed golden locks away from his face.

She always did this.

And Naruto knew that she would bandage his hands now. And she would say nothing. It was routine.

Routine…

A dark haired girl with night-black eyes. A boy with hair as bright as the sun and eyes the clear blue of a cloudless sky.

A boy who hated himself.

She had, this girl, broken his routine. She had destroyed and remade it to include her. Selfishly.

Or not. He knew that she was trying to help. She _was_ helping.

She was melting down the layers of ice and other things that surrounded his heart, just by being there. (Or the sections of his brain that controlled emotion and pleasure. Same thing, to him.)

He was brought sharply out of these thoughts by a break in this new routine. His face stung; he wasn't sure why for a moment.

"You… you slapped me," He said disbelievingly. She nodded, as if saying to him, 'Don't state the obvious, moron,' But she didn't say it.

She never did. She never spoke. To anyone.

Naruto knew her name. Not much else.

Her likes? He was unsure. Dislikes? Many things, but if you asked for individual items, he could not tell you.

He didn't even know how old she was, or who she lived with, or where she lived at all.

Why doesn't she speak?

Why does she stay by his side?

Why did she pick him in the first place?

Why is she the way she is?

He didn't know.

She has a boy's name. He doesn't know why.

She hurt herself. He doesn't know why. But he has a good idea.

Her scars match his. And they are old. Very old. There won't be any more.

He can see the scars because he knows where to look. Others cannot spot them.

He hurts himself because the world is too much. Because he has no parents. Because he didn't know his parents during the short hours that he had them.

His mother's death was his fault.

Others denied it, but he knew it was his fault. She died bearing him.

His father? Well, that was interesting.

He died in an accident on his way to the hospital.

Some drunken idiot hit him head on. He never had a chance.

Naruto knows that her parents are dead as well.

He doesn't know how.

It was strange. No one liked to talk about her family. _She _certainly didn't.

She had been popular. Still was, really. She was pretty. She had good grades. That was it. She was indifferent to those that asked her out. Or anyone else, for that matter. Teachers stopped calling on her; they realized she wouldn't respond if it wasn't a written answer. She didn't fit in anymore. She was too different.

He had never fit in, and he had realized that and stopped trying. Naruto knew he couldn't fit in. The only social tie he had had was Gaara, who was slightly popular due to his rich father. His rich, abusive father. But Gaara had moved away. His sister Temari had stayed here, to be with her boyfriend. It didn't matter that Temari had remained; Gaara had been the one to snap him out of his depression.

Of course, _she _did that now.

She was different from his red (literally, and it wasn't a dye job) haired friend. Gaara (always) wore dark colors, usually black, dark brown, or deep jade. He (always) wore short sleeved, tight fitting shirts with fishnet over it, ending at his biceps. She (always) wore dark blue or black long-sleeved shirts with slightly larger-than-normal collars. He (always) wore black pants that looked almost like jeans, but were soft to the touch, and fit him perfectly. She (always) wore light jeans that were much too baggy, sometimes with chains in the belt loops in the winter. She (always) wore khaki shorts in warmer weather. He (always) carried his belongings in a book bag that looked obscenely similar to a large, hourglass-styled gourd. She (always) wore a black messenger bag with an embroidered design that Naruto had watched her stitch. (The design was cool; a red and white fan, ceremonial style) Gaara had (always) worn black or grey trench coats. She (always) wore crimson hoodies.

Both of them (always) contradicted him, style-wise.

Naruto wore faded jeans with holes in the knees (always). He liked to wear orange tees (always). His bag was (always) red. She had sewn a black spiral on the front pocket, (Without asking him. But he knew she wouldn't have. He didn't mind it being there,) and his coats were (always) blue. Not dark blue or light blue. Just ordinary blue.

He missed Gaara sometimes, the creepy, panda eyed midget that he was, but he was happy. Selfishly happy. Because when Gaara went away, she came.

She (always) pissed him off.

He was (always) afraid that he loved her.

She wasn't perfect. Hell, she wasn't even _normal_. But she… she was _his_.

It was selfish, he knew. Someone cannot _own_ another human being. (Some may argue, but in the end, this is true.) She was different. She smiled at him. Not often, but she did. She didn't smile when others were around. Only when she was alone with him. She never smiled in any other situation. Ever. She (always) made him feel important.

(always) (always) (always) (always) (always)

She would stay with him. Always.

She would (always) be with him when everything became too much. She would (always) be there when he raged and screamed and hit her. She would (always) stay as he threw things, like vases, and dishes, and parts of his soul. She would (always) be there, with tape and glue, and she would (always) collect the remains and fix them up. Even his soul. And she would (always) say nothing.

"You're… you're bleeding,"

She wiped the blood away, (as always) and she licked her split lip. She said nothing.

"I'm s-sorry. Did I hurt you?" Naruto fumbled for words. He barely recalled what had happened. He didn't recall hurting her. He felt sorrow. As always.

She shook her head; she had had worse.

"D'you… think I should get help? For… this?"

She said nothing. But she nodded.

"I-I just don't know anymore," She smiled sadly, and he continued, "I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry."

She continued to smile in that strange, eerily beautiful way of hers.

"Will… will you ever talk to me?"

She looked unsure. Very much so. She nodded.

"Do you… I mean, I've wanted to ask you this, but… Do you stay with me because you… because you love me?" He paused and added, "Because… that would make me happy."

She nodded. She hugged him tightly to her, and she cried. Silently. Naruto hugged her back to him.

"I- that's good. Thank you, thank you so much for being there, and for loving me, and for- for everything. I think… I think I love you too. I think I love you, Sasuke."

She said nothing. But it was enough.

* * *

Well. That was weird. I don't even know what to say, besides, well, sorry about the Sasuke being a girl. And about how I didn't _actually_ tell you it was Sasuke until the very end. I'm sure you knew, but it could've been Itachi. Maybe. Unless you read the beginning bit and knew it was NaruSasu.

Sasuke's silence: Has to do with how her (ooh, that feels so weird) family died. It's not exactly the same as in the actual series. I'm thinking Itachi killed them with a butcher knife. Yeah. Or maybe it was all a freak accident and she blames herself for being the only one to survive it. Or maybe Itachi killed them all with a bomb. Or maybe I'm going too far with this.

A ninja must look underneath the underneath. And then they must look underneath the underneath of what they find underneath the underneath.

And underneath the underneath of the under-underneath is the review button. I wonder what that means.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, another chapter! In which there is plot. Much love to plot. Actually, I lied; the plot's not really begun yet. This is going to be a series of events, which go in the order posted. They aren't oneshots, as they go in chronological order and hinge on things that have already happened in the plot. But don't expect something that's poked at in one chapter to ever appear again. It might, but it also might not be picked up again.

* * *

Naruto let out a sigh. Journalism was a bitch. A really tight-assed bitch. Speaking of tight-assed bitches… 

"Hey, Sasuke." He muttered, poking her with his foot. Kurenai-sensei looked directly at him, and he feigned innocence, looking right back at her. "Hola, ma'am."

Kurenai shook her head, looking exasperated. "Now, I know you obviously have much better things to do than school work, Naruto," she began sarcastically, "But while you are in my class, I expect you to pay attention instead of making eyes at Sasuke."

Naruto heard snickers all around the room. They hadn't gone public with their relationship- Sasuke wouldn't tell him if it was all right. So naturally, everyone thought he was in love with Sasuke (True) and that she wasn't returning his affections. (Not true.)

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sakura slip a note to Sasuke, who pointedly ignored it. Sakura. Well. She was pretty, she was smart, she was even funny and strong-willed. Naruto wondered what the hell she was doing in this delinquent-laden school.

As if sensing hid thoughts, she turned to stare at him. He gave her a grin and wave. She rolled cucumber green eyes and turned to face the front of the class.

Naruto groaned- He took down the assignment on the board. _Interview your parents about _their _teen years? FUCK._

He could always ask Iruka-sensei; the man was practically his foster-father… mother-hen, even.

Whatever.

Naruto flung his hand far up into the air, waving it enthusiastically. Kurenai-sensei gave him the Look.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"I don't have parents. Can I not do this?"

Kurenai could have slapped herself- How could she not remember that Naruto was orphaned? She couldn't just take the assignment back; it would make her seem like an idiot.

"Ahem. Well, Naruto, as a special case, I have something planned for you." Not. "You could either interview a fellow student's parent," Kurenai broke off, thinking.

Naruto rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, causing laughter around the room. "Must I? It wounds me so, not knowing the warmth of a mother's love…" He was only partially joking, of course.

"Or-" Kurenai-sensei grit her teeth," You could interview a teacher here."

"Mmhm." Naruto gave a curt nod. "Now… Who's my victim- I mean- No wait, I mean victim."

Sasuke, strategically seated directly behind him, gave him a sound smack to the head. Naruto gasped.

"Oh, _Sasuke_! You want me to interview _you_? I don't think I could do that. You see, we're just too close, darling- I'd want to put you in a good light,"

A pair of cool hands wrapped around his neck, squeezing slightly.

"Kinky today, aren't you?" The pressure increased, and he coughed. "Okay, okay. I'll stop. Just let go."

Sasuke obliged, snorting.

"Dearest."

SLAP

"OW! DAMMIT!"

"Sasuke! What have I told you about violence in class? And Naruto, clean up your language."

"Freedom of speech!" Naruto yelled, rubbing his injured cheek.

"AMEN TO THAT, BROTHA!" Kiba roared, leaping out of his seat, "Freedom of speech! Freedom to write whatever the crap we want about people, be it true or not! The paparazzi do it all the time!"

"Kiba, sit down!" Hinata said timidly, half-standing.

"Kiba! Viva la revolution!" Naruto crowed, "Join me, and together we shall reform the school! Hey, we could do an article about how much this place sucks."

"Naruto!" Kurenai-sensei yelled, "Stop that this instant! Kiba, sit _down_! Ino! Hands to yourself, young lady!"

Ino reacted at the speed of light, retracting her hands from Sasuke's bag. She turned beat red as all eyes turned to her.

The brunette stared coldly at the blonde girl, daring her to say anything.

"I- uh…"

The glare intensified.

Ino threw her hands up. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"You don't sound sorry," Naruto muttered, pointedly facing away.

"What was that?" Ino said loudly, "Did you just question my sincerity?" She had the 'Oh-no-you-diin't' look, and it was pissing Naruto off. He was about to open his mouth to inform her she wasn't black and just looked like an idiot doing that, when someone beat him to it.

"Man, the whole class heard you with that half-assed apology, Ino." Shikamaru slid up in his chair, joining the conversation.

"Everyone! Stop bickering right now and-"

Ever heard that expression, 'saved by the bell?' It LIES.

The bell did ring, oh yes, but did it spare them from their awful fate?

NO.

"Naruto, Sasuke, Ino, and Kiba! To my desk, NOW."

"Yes'm…" Ino said dejectedly, trudging forward.

Naruto grabbed his bag, and for kicks snatched up Sasuke's too. He shouldered both bags, earning a rare smile from the small brunette.

"Did I just get like, everyone in trouble or WHAT?" Naruto chuckled, "Sorry Kiba, Sasuke. Ino, that was your fault. Rooting through my baby's bag like some kind of mole, rat thingie…"

"Oh, will you give it up? Sasuke's not dating you." Ino said snobbishly, hips swinging like… He didn't even know.

"Shows what you know. If she wasn't dating me, then why'd she just grope me?"

"She did not!" Ino said, turning and prancing off to her nest class.

"Hn." Sasuke tucked a strand of coal-black hair behind her ear.

"Yo, Sasuke! I'm the only one allowed to hear your pretty grunt-groan, one-syllable noises." Naruto wiggled his eyebrows, gyrating his hips suggestively. He

"Give it up, man!" Kiba snickered, "You're not banging the Uchiha!"

Naruto grinned at him, "Nope. But I am so dating her. Hey Sasu-chan, we've got Bio, right?"

She nodded, tugging her bag from his arm. Naruto let it go, and stroked an invisible beard.

"Kiba, man, you've got Bio too?" Naruto asked, an idea racing through his head.

"Yeah, why? Man, you've got some scheme going, don't you?"

"Who wants to skip Bio and hide in the library?"

Sasuke shrugged, indifferent.

"We could make out in the reference isle. No one ever goes there."

She hesitated.

Nod.

"WHOA. Man, you _are _dating her!"

"I already said that!"

Naruto scratched his head. "I'm freaking tired. Think I could fake projectile-vomit, and creep everyone out, eventually get sent home? Then Sasuke, you could complain your stomach was hurting. Everyone know's I'm always around you. We could snuuuuggle…"

Sasuke slid against him, twining her fingers in his blonde locks. Kiba pointedly looked away as they kissed, Naruto's hand slipping into the back pocket of Sasuke's jeans.

"Oh man, now I know you aren't faking. Dude, stop groping her."

"It's fucking fun. What, you've never gotten some lovin' from Hinata?" Naruto grinned lecherously. Sasuke ruined the all-men moment by tugging him forward by a belt loop.

"Naa, naa, Sasu-chan. Let's go skip class and frolic in the woods together. We can strip to the skin and wear leaves, and if someone sees us we can pretend we're illegal immigrants who don't speak English."

SMACK

"DAMMIT BISH, I'LL SCREW YOU GOOD FOR THAT."

SMACK

* * *

Whoo, that took far too long. Now, I want you all to give me feedback.

(Whoo, Naruto has friends now Where'd they come from? He's always been a class clown, so gets some attention as 'The Funny Guy Who Does Stupid Crap.')

Also, another vote, yay!

This one concerns Itachi-nii, and I want to know- Should he be evil and somehow related to the death of most of the Uchiha? Or should he have nothing to do with it and be a good older brother whose parents were murdered? Should have have an accidental part in it, or should it have been an accident that he had nothing to do with?

Review, review, review! Yaaaay


	3. Chapter 3

Dude. I haven't forgotten this fic, I swear. Therefore, it now has three chapters. If you haven't read chapter two, read it. 'Tis squishy and happy- This one's back to the angst. And there are nasty bits. If you hold your mental virginity in high regard, turn back now. If not, or if you don't have any, well, keep reading. Okay, it's not that bad. But eh.

* * *

She was crying. Soaked to the skin with rainwater, waiting, outside his home. The first thing he did was drag her inside, towel her off. He gave her dry clothes, dried her tears until he was out of tissues.

He felt awful. Because she wouldn't, _couldn't_, tell him what was wrong. She could not speak to him. Would not. For her own reasons, and he accepted that.

Not for the first time, he wondered why. Why did she maintain this silence, speaking to no one, not even himself, the one who loved her so utterly, so completely…

She cried silently, once more. And then…

Then, she cried with sobs that racked her body, and she cried aloud. And he had no choice but to hold her soaked form close to him, feeling the freezing water seep into his own pores.

She was beautiful when she cried. Such an awful thought. He shouldn't think she was pretty right now- Finding pleasure in her pain, even the smallest amount, was sick, twisted, wrong…. Wasn't it?

"Sasuke…"

A dry sob was the response he received.

"Sasuke," he said again, wanting to shake her, make her tell him, to scream at her, "How can I fix it!?!?" But he couldn't.

Sasuke was shaking. The look on her face was breaking his heart. So he asked her, quietly, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

She nodded, then shook her head. She looked lost, alone, like a frightened child.

"Okay. You can nod or shake your head. Did someone hurt you?"

She looked startled. Naruto's blood burned- He would kill the bastard, would rip him to pieces- She shook her head.

_Thank god. If anyone had hurt her…_

"Did… is someone else hurt?"

Sasuke's eyes shone with tears. A nodded head sent a spike of pain to his heart.

"Is this person close to you?" His heart wrenched. This was too cruel to her, wasn't it?

Nod. A sob. She buried her face in his chest. He was crushed.

"Is this person family?" He didn't want to ask this question. He truly didn't. But he had to.

And the nod against his chest.

He stroked her hair, pushed it behind her ear. Her tears were soaking through his shirt. He wanted to hold her closer, if possible, and tell her it would be okay, everything was going to be fine- He couldn't.

He could not lie to her.

"Sasuke. Look at me?" He tilted her chin up, planted a kiss on her lips. "I love you. Please don't cry."

She hiccupped, but the tears stopped.

"Brother?" His nerves tightened. He knew she had an older sibling. Because she wasn't in foster care. He wasn't either, but that was because Iruka had taken him in.

She nodded, startled. He held her tightly, refusing to let go.

"Was it the auto accident that was on the news?"

Her face twisted in agony. Tears budded in her eyes once more.

"I'm sorry. I heard that they all survived- He's going to be alright."

Her eyes looked just a little bit brighter- he lowered his lips to hers again.

"I…"

_Moment of truth_… _moment of truth! _

"…. I cried all over you."

It was the most beautiful monotone he had ever heard in his life.

And of course, greedy bastard that he was, that wasn't, couldn't, ever be enough. He wanted to hear her, feel her. Taste, smell, touch… Take.

Like some kind of deranged…

No. Not deranged. Maybe crazy. But, he thought, embracing the cliché, he was crazy with love, emotion.

Okay, hormones.

But, he realized, as their lips met, so was she. And she cared.

As he pushed her down on his couch, unresisting, his heart leapt, and his blood sang.

"Sasuke. I love you. I love you." And the words spilled from his lips again, and again, and again. They would not stop. He wanted to make her know, to prove it.

She cared. And it was enough, for them. Fumbling with clothing, throwing all fear and logic away with undergarments, finding solace in the steady creak of the old couch, the sweat, the friction.

He did not force her, could not. It was cruel to even imagine. They were both pure, until this point. But she was tight around him, and she cried out in mixed pain and pleasure when he entered her. He couldn't help himself from that point on, and he loved her. It was his choice, and it was her choice, and they were showing it on his couch, disregarding that anyone could walk in on this, give note that they were proving their affection. Proving their love with sweat, and virgin blood, and pain- and overriding all else, with pleasure beyond anything else.

And when it all came to a peak, and she cried out, clutched him to her, and he climaxed with a yelled, he realized something that he had probably known all along- She felt like home.

She could be pregnant. She could have contracted some disease- He could have contracted some disease. He was briefly worried for her wellbeing.

Not his own. Never his own. She was far too important, compared to him.

She was beautiful, and she was pure. Despite what had just transpired, she was as clean and white as a dove.

He spared a though- _Doves are just white pigeons._

Did it matter? She was snuggled close to him, the proof of his love for this strange girl filling her, slowly dripping… down, down…

He pressed his lips to her forehead, pulled out of her.

"Naruto," She said it so quietly, he nearly missed it. "I love you. Never leave me."

"I wouldn't dare."

* * *

Bad Naruto and Sasuke. Underaged, unprotected sex on a couch out in the open.

But still. _Awwwwwwww_.

That chapter ended up being sappy. And Itachi's not a bad guy. Oh no he isn't.

Not in this fic at least. Ahem. Anyways. I love reviews. If you've stuck with me this long, you know that. And I'll psoradically update this one- Akiru chan and I are working really hard on Smudging Ink (Check it out if you haven't, under my name here, her's on so I'll sneak in updates whenever I can.


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